Invaders Aren't Always Irken
by Invader Razz
Summary: Razz is a 16 year old girl running from her old life, with a the dream of becoming the first human invader. Doing the Tallest's bidding Razz must get close to Zim romantically to take his mission, but when Dib gets out of hand about his little crush on her she's finding it difficult to work on her mission. Soon Razz will find herself in between choices too cruel to be true.
1. Being the New Kid

Being the new kid isn't great especially when it's in the middle of the eleventh grade. I'm in a class that has been taught by the same teacher for 4 years, the teacher's name is Ms. Bitters and trust me with a name like that she was bound to be bitter.

I made my way through the halls and eventually found the classroom. I peeked in and saw that all the desks were full. Was this the right classroom? The teacher was a tall, bitter-looking woman wearing a long, black dress where it made her look like she had no feet. I nervously knocked on the door and the teacher practically flew to the door "You must be the new girl then" she croaked in my face "Y-yes" I spluttered, "Well then come in!" she shrieked. I carefully walked in and looked at the class.

"Class this is Razz the new girl, Razz if you have anything to say, say it now 'cause I don't wanna hear another peep out of you until the end of the year. " the teacher prompted rudely. I took a deep breath and spoke darkly " If any of you bother me you will find yourself lost in a nightmare world of pain for the rest of your puny miserable lives." the teacher pointed to boy in the class " You, your moved to the underground classroom" the floor under the boy's feet opened up and he fell through.

Ms. Bitters looked at me with a piercing glaze " Now take your seat " I walked over and took my seat, when I noticed the boy I was sitting beside was green, and had no ears this was definitely this was definitely something I had to check out.

"Excuse me" I looked at him "What's your name?"

"What? Me?!Why I am the amazing ZIM!

"Why don't you have ears?"

"It's part of my skin condition" he replied though he seemed awkward with it.

"I've never heard of a skin condition like that before"

"It's brand new first of its kind"

"Doesn't sound very likely"

"Well because I am the amazing ZIM! Anything is possible"

"I suspect your Irken"

"That's enough from both of you" Ms. Bitters announced with mocking finality so I spent the rest of the class in silence.

**A/N: In this first chapter Razz was supposed to talk with Dib too but I couldn't quite fit it in, and Razz isn't usually a sociable one so it was a big step for her to talk to Zim like that.**


	2. Breaking down the Alien

_** Chapter 2: Breaking Down the Alien**_

Ugh, lunchtime, it was my third day and already I loathed too many people,especially Dib. He was the kind of guy that no matter what you did to keep him away it wouldn't work, even if it resulted in a more physical manor.

"...and thats how I found out agent dark booty hadn't done that but..."

I was just sitting there trying as hard as I could to tune Dib out until finally I snapped"Dib I don't care about anything your saying and I'm sick of hearing your voice so I'm going to go sit with Zim until you learn to shut up."

I picked up my tray of revolting mush, even though I probably wasn't going to eat it, and strode over to where Zim sat. He was just sitting there rolling his peas around on his plate so I sat down real close beside him, knowing it would piss Dib off.

Zim gave me an odd look,"Why have you come for foodening with Zim?"

"Zim if you actually wanna sound the slightest bit human, maybe you should consider talking in first person and using more real english"

I sneered at the sight of his confusion.

"Why do you think Zim is not human?"

"One reason, all human guys I know are dumbasses but you are way stupider than any human guy could possibly be. I know your Irken because 4 years ago an Irken crashed in my backyard, she told me about her race and how to spot them in plain sight. Her name was Tak."

"Zim is not an Irken invader."

"I said nothing about an invader."

He had to think about what to say next. He did a bit of muttering I could never understand before I broke in,"I am going to break you down, until you have no other choice but to tell me the truth _Zim. _

I said his name with disdain, before I picked up my tray and left the cafeteria with both Zim and Dib staring after me.


	3. Taking the Mission

___**Chapter 3:Taking the Mission**_

It was 9p.m. and I was just sitting in my motel room staring at the blank, gray screen waiting for some part of it to come to life. The tallest were supposed to call to hours ago, but there was still no sign that they were going to call.

I was growing impatient and was about to head off to bed when a transmission came through. I watched the screen expectantly, waiting for the fuzziness to clear. When it did only tallest Purple was there.

"My tallest, may I inquire where Red is?"

"Oh, him? He's, just...you know...out. So, uh, how goes, the, the mission?"

Purple seemed very skiddish and looked as if he were about to jump out of his skin and run screaming around the massive.

"Purple, are you alright?"

"What? Who, me? I'm fine...you know...just...doing stuff."

"Like what?"

"Jeez, do you have to know everything?"

"I was just asking."

"Yeah, well, don't. Anyways I was just calling to see if you understood your mission."

"I do but, I just have one question."

"I suppose I could answer it."

"Do you want me to create a romantic attachment between us?"

"Yes."

"Alright. Razz signing off."

"Make that Invader Razz."

I felt like the happiest person alive when said that, "Then Invader Razz signing off."

The transmission ended and I couldn't believe I was finally an invader even though I'm human! I mean I was probably considered an invader after I was given the task of taking Zim's mission, but I was never given the title. Then I realized it. How was I supposed to get close to someone if they're programmed not to need anyone. _Don't forget, he's a defect._ That annoying little voice in my head reminded me, but still, this was going to be hard and the end results messy. _Your an invader and invaders need no one. _That little voice was really pissing me off right now.

Oh, and of course I'd have to break to Dib that I was planning to take over the and after Zim he'd be my first target so I don't have to listen to his annoying voice again. That will be a huge relief. When he said the first word I knew he was going to be that first target.

*_Flashback*_

_"Hi, your Dib, right?"_

_"Yeah what's it to you?"_

_"I hear your into paranormal stuff and I was wondering what you thought about the green kid."_

All I did was ask one little question and I got a whole life story in excruciatingly close detail but I needed information if I was going to find a secure way of procuring Zim's mission and base (not that I wasn't already equipped).


	4. Questions

_**Chapter 4:Questions**_

*_Brrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnngggggggg*_

"Ugh, not the phone. I just woke up!" I whined to myself as I lazily picked up my cellphone.

"Hello?" I said in a very unfriendly voice.

"Razz! You will come home straight this instant! I am sick and tired of looking for you all over God's creation!" seeming quite satisfied with her unnecessary out burst she took an exaggerated huff. I grit my teeth. I was sick of this, her constant calling, it was the third time this week!

"Mom, I don't want to come back home, I am sick of being treated like a juvenile delinquent and will never go back to my horrible old life! So why don't you just quit calling, leave me alone and go to hell where you belong!" I shouted at her through the phone before hanging up and throwing it at the wall. I can never handle it when she does that, first she tries to make me feel guilty, then she tries to tell me that it's so much of an emergency that I need to come back home, and she's trying to be the responsible parent, I mean what the hell is her problem? I know that I'm really not social so three calls in one week is a lot for me to handle, but still, she could've at least tried to be a mother!

Whatever, I have to get ready for school anyway, it's not worth throwing a fit over.

* * *

It's so hard not to fall asleep in class before lunch, especially in biology. Thankfully, this is the last period before lunch, so I didn't have to suffer for long.

*Brrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnngggggggggg*

Finally! I shot out of my chair basically punched anyone who got in my way. I was so desperate to get out of that class.

I threw my books in my locker, grabbed my game slave and ran to go meet Gaz in the cafeteria. We had become the closest thing to friends we could ever become which was basically us sitting beside each other and playing our game slave 3-D. Occasionally we would share tips or yell at Dib but other than that we didn't talk. I would even go hound Zim for information about twice a week and he knew that I knew more than I let on."

Gaz's voice startled me because I didn't even realize she had caught up with me.

"So what's the deal with you and Zim?"

"What do you mean deal?"

"I mean you're always hounding my stupid brother for information about him when you're not playing on your game slave, and I want to know why."

Here it comes, she'll know if I lie but if I tell her my mission is ruined! I tried the most sincere lie could pull out of my ass. "I'm into paranormal stuff and I suspect that Zim is an alien."

"Bullshit." she said this and I knew, she knew it was something more, but I couldn't tell her.

"Look, I can't tell you, so don't ask." after that she didn't ask about that anymore so we just did our usual thing.

After a few minutes I asked Gaz to watch my game slave while I went to go hound Zim.

"So Zim, ready to tell me you're an alien yet?"

"Zim couldn't possibly know what you're talking about."

The little liar. "Ziiiim" I drew out his name in a threatening way, he immediately changed the subject.

"Razz-beast, I would like to know if you would come to Zim's base for interrogation, I mean foodening."he gave me a fake smile and I knew he just wanted to make me tell him what I know, but this would be a great way to get into his base!

"When?"

"Friday." wait, damn it, the dance is on Friday and I promised Gaz I would be there because she wanted me to help her avoid Dib since he was dragging her there.

"Sorry, Zim, I can't I'm going to the dance on Friday, but if you want, you can come as my date." this is perfect for me to get close to him.

"What?! Zim will not be _yours_ I do not belong to anyone!

Idiot. "Let me rephrase that. Will you come to the as a date for me."

He thought about this for a minute, "Yes I shall be a date for you."

"Okay, first thing you need to know, I will pick out your clothes because I doubt you will pick something appropriate for a casual school dance. I will come by your house at six to pick you up, I will get your address from the school's data base, okay?"

"Yes Zim is _okay _with this."

"Good." I got up and went back to where Gaz and Dib sat. Dib had been watching me but he couldn't hear what we had said.

"Razz?" he looked at me expectantly, "Can I ask you something?"

"You just did but alright."

"Well, I was wondering, if, you know, maybe you'd like to go the, dance with me."

"That doesn't clarify as a question but," I looked at Gaz who had paused her game slave to look at us, in fact the entire lunch room was staring at us so I said this in a seductive and affectionate voice, "I can't. I've already got a date." I smiled wickedly.

"Who?"

"Zim."

The entire lunch room gasped (including Zim but not enough for most people to notice). I took one look at Dib's face then at Gaz's and me and Gaz burst out laughing, Dib's face was hilarious!

Once I had finished laughing I walked over to Zim, grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the cafeteria with the entire school watching.

Zim was a great Dib-repellent.

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys, I'm really sorry for the wait and also for the fast plot line but there are a lot of things that are going to be happening and I have to get it moving.**

**In this chapter I think it's a big shock to all the characters and it really gets the story a little more interesting if you know what I mean. Now I can finally call it a romance! WOOHOO!**

**Anyway I want to thank all the people who have read this story for giving me support and encouraging me to keep writing so I'm dedicating this story to all the people who have read this story, especially invader rainbowdash because I know her in real life and she is the one who inspired me to start writing stories so thank you.**

**Also I want to let you know that I don't own Invader Zim or any of it's characeters, the only person I own is Razz feel free to use her but please ask before you do.**


	5. Dancing With the Enemy

_**Chapter 4: Dancing with the Enemy**_

* * *

Why do I care so much? I had been primping ever since I got home for the dance tonight. I never primp! This is not right! Zim is my enemy I shouldn't care what he thinks.

I flopped onto my bed and looked at the ceiling. Tallest Purple said I have to get close to him romantically, but will he even notice if I'm dressed different?

Relax, Razz just relax. I walked over to my closet and pulled out some of my clothes. I started with jeans, but none of them seemed to fit. Next I went for skirts, none of them fit either! If I want to attract Zim maybe I shouldn't play it safe, I had to go slutty! Then I saw it peeking out from the back of my closet. That's it! It was a strapless purple dress with black polka dots, a sweet heart neck line (at least that's what they called it on say yes to the dress), a short skirt that flattened out when I twirled and a black sash around the waist with a bow in the back.

For my hair I straightened the ebony tangles into a smooth waterfall of hair. I added a black bow but took it out, it didn't fit.

I walked to the couch and decided to spy on Zim.

I stared at the screen with wide eyes to find him having a huge primp-fest. He was having his computer pull up a bunch of different clothes that he tried on and threw away.

It was almost six. Time to go.

* * *

I reached Zim's very dilapidated house and rang the door bell.

"Gir! I'm getting the door!"

"But I wanna get it! There's a pretty girl on the other side!'

The door opened and there was Zim shoving at a little green dog I assumed was Gir his deranged SIR unit. Zim was wearing a pair of slick black jeans and a black t-shirt fit tightly showing off abs no human could ever have.

"How does Zim look?" he asked nervously.

"Perfect." I stated and saw him relax a bit. "Let's go."

* * *

When we got there the gym was a bit packed. I was pulling Zim by the hand through the crowd to find Gaz.

"Hey, Razz." Gaz's monotone voice beside me startled me. I cringed. Where ever Gaz was, Dib was sure to follow.

"Where's Dib?"

"Sulking on the bench." Gaz snickered and I could tell she was enjoying the emotional roller coaster I was taking him on.

For most of the dance I taught Zim some dance moves and watched Dib (being a bisexual) with the creepy kid Keef (who was gay) beside Gaz.

"Alright everybody time to take it slow so grab a partner!" the DJ yelled as he put a slow song on.

"For your enjoyment," I said to Gaz, "Show Dib me and Zim dancing together."

I stalked off to go find Zim in the crowd. I found him sitting on the other side of the gym on a bench. I went up and told him that we should be dancing.

He stood up. I began to show him what to do but he said he already knew. He put one hand on my waist and the other took my hand.

"I don't know how to dance like this Zim."

He lifted me onto his feet and I felt like Bella from Twilight. How pathetic was I?

We twirled elegantly and people parted to let us through. He stopped briefly to twirl me, and people gasped in awe as my dress went out. He slowed us down so I could focus on his face.

"The Dib is watching us you know."

"Is he upset?"

"Yes it's wonderful."

"Do you know what would really hurt him?"

"A kiss?"

"You did your research." at that point I placed my arms around his neck so I could push myself up to kiss him. His arms curled possessively around my waist as his lips caught on mine.

For an alien he was quite a good kisser. That was all I could think before I melted into his arms and crushed my body against his. He pulled me in tighter. I was beginning to run out of breath. He broke away but still held me against him.

* * *

_**End Chapter**_

* * *

**A/N: Whew! That was quite a rush to write. I didn't think that it was going to go by so fast, their relationship, it sky rocketed! With what I just said in mind I'd like to apologize for moving their relationship along so quickly. That's all for now.**


	6. Thoughts

_**Chapter 6:Thoughts**_

* * *

With my head on the table my only comfort at the lunch table was the sounds of Gaz's GS-3D. Even Dib wasn't Dib anymore! No one had been the same after that night at the dance. Zim was love-struck, Dib was angry, and Gaz thought everyone was even crazier than before! My entire mission was back-firing! What were the tallest going to say? Were they even talk to me at all? Would I lose my title as Invader?

I hadn't realized I had been banging my head on the table until Gaz pointed it out.

* * *

"What's the point?" I shouted in Gaz's general direction on my motel room couch. I had decided to tell her about my mission because I needed someone to talk to and there was no one else who wouldn't just use my guard being down to get something!

"Well, I don't know why you're asking me about it, I don't pay attention to the crazy stuff people talk about, you know." Gaz paused her game slave and thought for a moment, "It's hard making right choices, so we naturally go with the easy ones, but what we don't realize is that they don't help our problems, if any thing they make them worse. I know yelling, and being upset about everything may be easy, but it's not going to make your problems go away. If you want them gone, you gotta face them with a sledge hammer and smash them to bits." and just as calmly as she had began her speech, she ended it by going back to her game.

I looked at her in amazement, "You're right." I said as it dawned on me.

Gaz looked a bit annoyed, "Of course I am."

"Come on," I said confidently. Grabbing her arm I led her out of the room, swiftly locking it behind me.

She let out an exaggerated huff before whining, "Where are going?"

I stopped to grin at her before answering. "We're going to go buy a sledge hammer."

* * *

**_End Chapter_**

* * *

**A/N: Hey, sorry this chapter is so short, but I thought there was enough emotion in it to stand on its own. Also this chapter is dedicated to invader rainbowdash, who, despite how many times I tell her, can never smash her problems. I hope Gaz's speech will make you realize Rainbow, that hiding your problems isn't going to make them go away. Thanks!**


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